100 people surveyed… top 5 answers on the board. Show me… “gutless turd!”

February 3, 2009

Day 2 of how to get other people to work with you despite their fears, and I’m still not ready to talk about other people yet. I’ve still got to focus on *you* for a bit longer…

Find a mirror. Have a look. What do you see?

* An expert?
* Someone you’d want during a time of crisis? Of celebration? Of sickness?
* Someone who trusts others? Who has the trust of others?
* Someone who’s impact is felt when s/he walks in the room?

I’ve interacted with thousands upon thousands of people during the course of assessing and developing people, and there are some common themes that come up, regardless of a person’s title.

One of the most striking similarities is that people often behave like… well, I hate to say it, but, like… gutless turds. (I wish I were just talking about you, but really, it’s all of us, myself included. Yuck.)

We don’t always. We do show great resiliency in the face of overwhelming odds. But so often, we are undone by a simple mirror. We refuse to stand in front of a mirror and be honest about what we see.

Instead, we rationalize our shortcomings. We get angry at that Jason Seiden guy for making ugly insinuations. We take grease pens and draw what we want to see over our reflection.

We close our eyes.

I still love you, I still want you to be successful, I still think you’re perfect, but we need to face facts: this behavior is… well, what else can you call it, other than gutless turdism?

Like I said, I do it, too. And as nasty as it is, I know that in some respects, I’m great at it. Still, this is one skill I’d rather not have. So this week and next, I’m using my blog to pry those eyelids open. A little.

There is no way to sugar coat this message: it’s time for us human beings to each grow a pair. Here’s how:

Look in the mirror again, and say what you see. With curiosity instead of judgment. Resolve instead of fear. Humor instead of mortification. Seriously, what could you possibly see that’s so bad?

That you’re afraid of failure?
That you sometimes exaggerate because you’re afraid of letting someone down?
That you lie to make yourself feel important?
That you just don’t care about others as much as you think you should?
That you regret some decision you made and haven’t forgiven yourself for it yet?
That you hurt someone and feel guilty about it?
That you’re not as good as someone else and you know it?
That you hate the idea of loneliness so much that you’ve chosen to stay in a bad relationship?
That you’re selfish?

Hello, have we met? There’s not a person on the planet who doesn’t feel these things. Courage don’t mean avoiding these feelings, it means moving forward in spite of them.

You’ll sometimes have choice words for the man in the mirror. And that’s fine. I certainly do.

As long as you have the courage to face him and say what needs to be said!