I am currently reading Alan Greenspan’s book, Age of Turbulence. (I was looking for something light to help me break up my 3-tome foray into Calvin & Hobbes classics.) At one point, Greenspan muses that anyone demonstrating the willingness to do what it takes to become President of the United States should automatically be disqualified from being able to hold the post.

Something very similar could be said about those seeking the CEO spot in major companies. There must be something seriously off with anyone willing to put up with the trials and tribulations that accompany that top job… they can’t want the money–for one thing, no amount of money is worth the problems the CEO has to deal with, and for another, the amount of money these CEOs get paid only compounds their problems.

For some reason, as I was thinking about Alan Greenspan and the presidency and why people would want to be CEO, if not for the money, Bill Cosby popped into my head. In my mind’s eye, I could see him on stage, in front of that huge blue screen, delivering his classic comedy routine about children… and how the only explanation he could think of for their nonsensical behavior was…

…brain damage.

Eureka!

I had found my explanation: CEOs and aspiring CEOs are brain damaged! It must be. They are the kids Cosby was talking about, all grown up. Why else would they deal with the things they do?

Not sure what I’m referring to? Step with me for a moment into the CEOs world and see. Here are nine characteristics of successful CEOs. You tell me if this list sounds like it describes a “normal” person.

1. The successful CEO must love power. (Because he’s going to have a whole lot of it…)
3. The successful CEO must have an inherent distrust of anyone’s authority but her own.
4. The successful CEO must have an adaptable moral compass. (He will be on the vanguard of ethical dilemmas for which there is no precedence.)
5. The successful CEO must be willingness to break off almost any relationship, at any time. (Not only must he be willing to make the tough call, but he has a target on your back, and he never knows who will take the next shot at it.)
6. The successful CEO must be willing to assume personal liability for the actions of people who she knows to be incapable of doing anything other than their immediate job.
7. The successful CEO must assume complete responsibility for outcomes over which he has, at best, only indirect influence.
8. The successful CEO must thrive under intense pressure.
9. The successful CEOmust love the political game. (There is no non-negotiable mechanism to prevent personal issues from influencing business decisions.)

Well? Does it?

Posted under Lists, Leadership