Instead of trying to find yourself, try losing yourself (in the moment).

(This is a follow up to yesterday’s post about why trying to find your passion is a waste of time.)

Here’s a rendition of Hotel California by a 13 year old from my hometown. The boy’s name is Jonah. Watch what he can do at 2:02 into the piece:

Jonah is one of the world’s specialists. He was born knowing his passion. Bang! He doesn’t have to search, he’s got it. (Obviously.) And you know what that means? It means he has a huge head start over everyone else who has not yet discovered their love for guitar, and every day he builds upon that lead.

No matter what your field—music, accounting, what have you—you’re up against Jonah. A lot of Jonahs, actually.

You can dance around, flitting with this and that, trying music, trying marketing, trying finance, trying not-for-profits, trying writing, trying consulting… or you can say to yourself, “I’d better invest myself in developing a skill. Otherwise, I’ve got nothing when it comes time to compete with the Jonahs of the world.” Better yet, you can say nothing to yourself and just dive into whatever it is you happen to be doing right this moment. It doesn’t matter what the activity is, nor does it matter if you love it or hate it. It’s the mental exercise of engaging in it that makes your brain receptive to your true passions when they come calling. (Which they do, constantly… but if you are busying yourself by fiddling with the receiver—aka your brain—it’s hard to pick out the patterns from the noise you are creating with all your surface level change.)

Watch the Mike Rowe TED video. Or read Gladwell’s latest book. Or pick up one of Seligman’s books on happiness, or Csíkszentmihályi’s book Flow, or something by Gottman on relationships. Attend a Tony Robbins session. Know what you’ll find? This subject is not up for debate. Passion comes from within. It is unlocked only when you concentrate on it so hard that you lose yourself in the moment. We may not understand the mechanics yet, but we do see the cause and effect, and we see it consistently.

Want to play guitar like Jonah? If you are a generalist (which is most of us), the way to do it is to pick up a guitar and play until you are totally focused on playing. Totally. Stay with it, and you will get good. What if you feel you are a specialist who doesn’t know your calling? Pick up a guitar and play until until you are totally focused on playing. You’ll find yourself inexorably drawn to a different activity. You won’t have to wonder; the activity will find you. (That’s how it is with me and writing: no matter what creative endeavor I start, I inevitably also start journaling at the same time.)

Stop trying to find yourself, start trying to lose yourself.

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Tagged as: development, passion