Become More Influential Today

This week, I am running a series of posts on influence as a follow up to a session on influence at HRevolution 2010.

It’s interesting to me to read the comments and emails I’ve gotten this week about these posts on influence; there is definitely a line in the sand out there, with pragmatists who think this stuff is awesome and necessary on one side, and idealists who think it’s all Machiavellian evilness on the other.

Idealists, I’m with you… in concept. But if you think you can win this game from the outside, you are sorely mistaken. For the good of your career, read Super Staying Power to see why, and to learn how to get your butts in the game without selling your souls.

We need more good guys who are willing to get dirty and use influence—real influence. The world needs more idealists who are willing to take that castle in the sky they see in their mind’s eye and erect a solid foundation beneath it—a foundation that sets right here in our imperfect reality of today.

Here’s how:

Take this Communication Crash Course—There are specific levers you can pull when shaping your communications, including content, direction, tone, timing, and channel, all described in this communications overview. Use the gritty to figure out which lever to pull and how. Because when it comes to influence, how you say it is just as important as what you say.

Peruse my blog category devoted to helping people improve their political and organizational astuteness. For practical tips on dealing with specific personality types, click on that link and scroll down to the posts entitled, “Politics Made Simple.” The whole category is filled with content that organizations literally pay me thousands of dollars to come in and train their executives and managers on, and the best nuggets are all in my blog, online, free for the taking. So take. This is your career we’re talking about—use the resources at hand!

And most importantly:

If you find yourself thinking that all this would be unnecessary if we just gave everyone a chance, remind yourself right quick that that’s not ever going to happen. A man’s best intentions will die hard and fast when they stand in the way of him feeding his family—or when a shortcut to the same end presents itself.

Influence isn’t about talking someone into doing the right thing when it’s easy. That’s called being a friend. Influence is about getting someone to do the right thing even when s/he has a good reason—or a good temptation—not to. Or when the other person simply disagrees about what “the right thing” is.

We spend too much time in this country pretending that we can build successful, long-term relationships based on what “should be.” Sorry. Relationships are never as they “should be.” They are what they are, and if you want them to last, you had better be prepared to go beyond idealism.

You had better be prepared to influence.

Jason Seiden is Co-founder and CEO of Ajax Social Media, a training company that shows professionals how use social media to work more effectively.