Child’s Play: Love Matters

When you don’t have anyone to share with, life can be harder than it needs to be.

For many of us, 2009 already made life harder than it needs to be; I was reminded many times over this past week that simply having a girl like Elle in my life makes me incredibly fortunate, and how much I appreciate the relationships I share with those who are close to me.

So today, I wanted to take a time out from leadership and career issues and focus on one of the fundamentals I so often take for granted. If you don’t have someone to share your victories and defeats with—someone who is truly in your corner and wants you to win, even on those nights when the two of you don’t see eye-to-eye—you can be at a disadvantage.

Sure, there are people who respond to personal issues by throwing themselves into their work… But. I’ve talked with one too many individuals these past few weeks who can no longer maintain that line that we like to keep between our personal and professional lives. I have too many friends feeling knocked down, beat up, and kicked around for me to believe that they’re at their best in their careers when their personal lives are rough. I’m watching too many marriages crumble, and hearing too many people admit that they’re tired of crying alone to buy that anymore.

Some are scared, and some are exhausted, some are lonely. All of them are ready for something better.

But better isn’t going to magically come from your career; you simply won’t survive the risks you need to take to get ahead if you don’t also have some sort of support structure in place. The risks are too harrowing. “Fail spectaculary” is only OK if you can laugh at failure… and it’s hard to laugh when you’re by yourself.

So before you try to master your job, get that promotion, get that A in school, land that perfect internship, or deliver the perfect presentation, please, take care of you. Invest in finding someone to share the journey with (or at least a few miles of it). It doesn’t have to be romantic love here—a good friendship will do.

Finding that someone is not easy, but it’s doable. And the process itself can make a big difference in your ability to relax into the moment at work. To get started, this week, pick up the phone. Call someone you haven’t spoken with in awhile. Or DM a Twitter friend and set up a call. Start the conversation this way: “Hey. No agenda. Just calling to say hi. I wanted to hear what you’re up to.” It may feel a bit awkward, but it’ll also feel good. I promise.

Take a deep breath, folks. If we stick together, it’ll all work out in the end. I’m sure of it.

Just don’t ask me how.

Tagged as: Elle, love