In this video, I ask Elle point blank if she’d rather have me keep her totally safe, or give her opportunities to try new things, even if it means she’ll occasionally get hurt. Here’s her response:
The thing that surprises me is when employees answer just like Elle but then, when given freedom by their bosses, rather than take the opportunity, they complain about why they can’t take the opportunity.
What’s truly interesting about this is that in complaining, they’re actually trying to choose both safety and opportunity. By complaining, people can convince themselves that they have embraced opportunity while keeping it just far enough away that they don’t actually have to give up their safety. This lets them feel secure, while also feel close to their dreams.
Of course, it’s an illusion, which is probably why maintaining it comes with so much drama and heartache.
The next time someone seems to have all the reasons in the world not to do something, recognize that they’re not necessarily being mean-spirited, they’re just trying to keep safe. (After all, with opportunity comes the possibility to get hurt—better to avoid having to try!)
If you find yourself trying to keep safe by complaining, try this to break out of the cycle:
- Learn to spot opportunity. It rarely comes gift-wrapped in a box labeled, “opportunity.” A hands-off boss, a new project, or a slacking coworker can all be catalysts to spread one’s wings and do something great.
- Learn to recognize how you keep safe, too. Like opportunity, safety rarely comes in a labeled box. Instead, safety looks like responsibilities that are too narrow, responsibility without authority, or organizational problems. Basically, any excuse you use to explain why you can’t do something may be a thread in your security blanket.
- Ask, “So what?” frequently. So you take on the project and a coworker gets annoyed. So what?
- Ask, “Why?” Someone thinks your new process won’t work? Ask her why. And keep asking until you get a real reason.
- Accept yourself. Some people need lots of freedom and opportunity, others need less. Recognize and accept who you are. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself leading a string of failed projects, or you’ll find yourself regretting that you passed on projects that turned out to be winners.
If you’re like most people, my guess is that you are hungry for opportunity, but at the same time, you have some fear of the unknown that opportunity comes with.
That’s OK. Everyone has some fear. It’s part of the human condition.
So what?
Go for it anyway. Get your hand slapped. Dare to fail spectacularly!
You can’t have freedom and opportunity without risking getting hurt now and then.
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I'm Jason. I make people shine. My mission is to help 1 million people tell their stories better. 
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Bravo! What a terrific way to make you point Jason- love it- the example (a child point of view) and the point- are both great
You need to take Elle out on the road with you…she chose the road less traveled…nice. And I smiled when she said, “What’s the point in that?”
Get out there and Fail Spectacularly.
@Debbie—Elle makes it easy.
@Frank—Elle makes it great.
Loved it! Also love the new site. One request – a recent posts link? For example, I miss a week and want to see what you have written in the last week. I could go to archives … but I would like something more obvious.
From the mouths of babes! What an inspiration, gee..the apple does not fall far from the tree. Happy New Year and love the new site!
@Amy—It is done!
@Geeta—Happy New Year to you, too!
Jason,
Love the post. Very cute. What a great idea, not only the concept you discussed, but the way you did it. Having your daughter in your videos is a great way to balance family and running a business. Great advice and parenting! Keep it up!