A: Either way, the punchline is the same: give it up.
Think of it this way: let’s say your ego is important to you. You are smart, intelligent, and your name is important to you. Saving face is a paramount part of the deals you cut. Give it up. Imagine what you’ll get in return when you offer up something as valuable as your pride.
On the other hand, perhaps you have no pride. In that case, take the money and run: since you don’t care what people think of you, don’t let something you don’t care about come between you and your goals!
I recently read a quote, attributed to Dr. Suess. It goes like this: “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” In other words, don’t let your ego get between you and the person you wish to be!
The ego is a funny thing. It presents itself in a grand, arrogant manner. I AM ALL IMPORTANT, it demands. Yet the ego is entirely based on fear. It stops you from taking risks, having fun, speaking your mind, dancing, singing, playing with your kids at the park, or smiling at a sunny day. Your ego isn’t important at all: it’s only function is to try and get you to act in a way that others will approve of.
I work with some people with big egos. Business is full of them. One of them, Conrad Black, is now on trial. I would love to see his lawyers use his ego as a defense: “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Mr. Black got paid a lot of money because everything he did, in fact everything he does, is larger than life. It was easier for those companies to pay him a ton of money to go away than risk having him come back as a competitor. Where Mr. Black goes, money, press and noteriety follow. The board, his company, the buyers–everyone he dealt with–knew about Mr. Black’s ego and demands at the outset. If he’s guilty of anything, it’s of having a huge ego. But in our world, that’s not illegal. He’s just like you and me, except all the numbers in his world has extra zeroes at the end of them. That’s it. He’s the guy who orders surf and turf when everyone’s splitting the bill at dinner. That’s the world he lives in. If there was malfeasence, it was with the board… no one–not a single person–was unaware of Mr. Black’s demands. Don’t for a minute let the board pretend that they were surprrised by Mr. Black. They set him up to take the fall for their own incompetence, because if they had questions along the way, they never said boo about them until the SEC showed up, and if that’s what it takes to spur a board to action, then that board was asleep at the switch.”
Of course, such a defense would require Mr. Black to trade in his ego for innocence. He’d have to answer the charges levied against him in an open and honest way, by saying, “You’re darn right I did that, and everyone knew it. What’s the problem?” This would make him feel vulnerable, which the ego is loathe to do, and so it is highly unlikely that he’ll go that route.But it makes one wonder, at what price does protecting our own sense of ego become unbearable?
[UPDATE: Conrad Black went with the pass the buck defense instead, and he was found guilty of 4 of 13 counts of wrongdoing.]
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I'm Jason. I make people shine. My mission is to help 1 million people tell their stories better. 