An open letter to advocates of HP’s “Parents who host, lose the most” campaign

(The following is posted at NorthShoreInsider.com/blog and will likely run as a letter to the editor in the May 24th Pioneer Press.)

I recently read about Highland Park’s ongoing campaign to thwart misguided parents who “mistakenly” believe chaperoning parties where alcohol is present is a better alternative to not chaperoning parties where alcohol is present, and I thought: At last, we have a program that is as totally insane as the idea that teenage rebellion can be controlled with the heavy hand of the law!

It is lunacy for us to think that overly broad, fear-based, criminalization tactics can work here. Over the years, such tactics repeatedly have failed on issues large and small, ranging from teenage drinking to drug use, immigration, prostitution, abortion, embezzlement, terrorism, and even speeding. Now we’re taking doomed tactics and not only refusing to shelve them, but extending their focus to kids’ parents, as well. Score one for the fear mongers! Just when we could have had a real breakthrough—right when we should have acknowledged that prohibition as a strategy is futile, and embraced any one of a number of supportive, inclusive alternatives—we instead enacted a policy that further alienates teens, encourages subversion by parents as well as teens, and worst of all, outlaws responsible parental oversight right along with parental abandon. It appears that we are using the law to replace parents’ personal responsibility, and that seems backward to me: the law should not subjugate parents, it should support them.

I know, I know, pity me for trying to bring a common sense perspective to the debate. This is America, after all: land of the over-reactive and home of the war. We have a War on Terror, a War on Drugs, a War on Poverty, a War on Cancer, and a War in Iraq… and by now I should have learned, there is no space in W-A-R for common sense.

Let me say it for you: shame on me for rejecting this unambiguous, mindless, and adversarial program in favor of dialog and pragmatism. Shame on me for questioning what society tells me is best for me and my children. Shame on me for not gladly forking over my personal liberties in the name of safety and security, and shame on me for having the courage to put my trust my fellow parents!

Though actually, shame on you for supporting this initiative. Tragic, accidental deaths—which I have to assume are the target of this initiative—will never stop, nor will they be made any more bearable by further criminalizing those involved. Shame on you for letting your fear blind you to this reality, and for abdicating parenting duties to politicians and police as a result.

A free society is never easy, and it requires an abundance of courage to function, lest it devolve into a police state. Shame on you for not believing in yourself enough to hold the line.

Clearly losing the War on Personal Responsibility,

Jason Seiden

Jason Seiden is Co-founder and CEO of Ajax Social Media, a training company that shows professionals how use social media to work more effectively.