I have a client who complained about his subordinates because they lacked social abilities. Specifically, they wouldn’t pick up the phone. They didn’t know how.
The manager had built a large network over the span of 15 years or so, starting with a few connections and slowly building from there. His feeling was that if his team couldn’t make phone calls today, they wouldn’t have the network they’d need in the future. It was driving him nuts.
I’m not so sure about his diagnosis. More precisely, I completely agreed with his diagnosis, but was not convinced about its relevance.
Those subordinates already had their networks… they graduated with literally hundreds of connections on Facebook and were two degrees of separation from countless more… but what they don’t know is how to filter that network for “real” connections that will provide value over time in a business context. Assessing the younger cohort revealed some interesting stuff, but in the area of interpersonal skills, they weren’t materially different (as a group) than their bosses.
But one thing that did stand out was how technology impacted the way they used those interpersonal skills.
Thanks to social media, Next Generation employees are developing socially in the reverse order as their managers. They’re not build out from a few key connections, they’re filtering down from an incredibly broad and shallow pool.
They require an entirely different skills set.
In many ways, filtering requires the same political savvy that previously was required only at senior levels within organizations. They need to blend their professional and personal selves (I like to call online a “professonal” venue for this reason), for example. They need to send “buying” signals without being overt or “desperate.” And they need to be careful about making a mistake.
For a manager looking to take ownership for his or her team’s success, the take-away here is that what looks like a skill deficiency on the surface may actually be something else, such as a technological shift. The best thing to do in this case is to not fight the trend, but rather to accept it and go with it.
Remember how people hated impersonal answering machines? How folks lamented the transparency of *69 and looked for ways to block it? And now, who doesn’t use both as a matter of course?! Technology changes, and when it does, it impacts how we interact with others. Complain all you want, but I think you’d be much better served by directing that energy into helping make it a smooth transition.
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I'm Jason. I make people shine. My mission is to help 1 million people tell their stories better. 
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Very impressive. Two comments:
1. I Intend to use that very observation of yours to have my staff view networking for business as something that they are already doing, but don’t know it or how to channel it. Nice, thx.
2. Next, when I Google Jason Seiden, I was pleased to see that you now occupy the first complete page, wow. G
I agree that the majority of Millennials could use lessons in phone skills. Sure, we’ve had cell phones since we turned 13 but how often do we use the phone for professional conversations? When I first started in my career, it took me a while to understand that many older people prefer the phone over e-mail and that I have to return phone calls right away. It seemed like common-sense to my managers but it wasn’t. Now, I understand when the best course of action is to pick up the phone or when it’s better to e-mail as well as to track which communication method my clients best respond to.
I completely agree with everything that you stated. Though I even find some Gen Xers crossing over into the NO PHONE CALL path. To me it is frustrating because there is a time when you just need to pick up the phone. It is easier to connect through Twitter but it is the personal relationships that you build that make them worth while.
So pick up the phone and make the connection. That is the only true way to enhance your network.
A great, and succinct, observation. I hadn’t thought of it that way before and the ‘filtering’ angle helps me wrap my head around the potential use of mass soc media. Up to this point I have remained unconvinced.
I also agree that training with business phone skills is important. Phone conversations can be uncomfortable but practice and training gets past that. Phones are an incredibly useful way to stay connected to people and allow conversations more complex than email, text, or even blogs.
You noted that it is important to get to know how other people think. The key to understanding how someone acts is getting to know their thinking process. People tend to suprise others when they explain why they do what they do. (For better or worse) To quote schoolhouse rock, “…Knowledge is power.”
I have something to share:
Too many of the professionals and higher level workers believe that work should be like what they see on TV. The matters they have to work on should be pat and neat, the best of the best. Money is never discussed on TV, when in reality the opposite is the case. On TV, the value is in the fun and desireability of the project, not the need to pay the bills. The x’ers and y’ers, to me anyway, seem to be so steeped in the quality of life issues while being so removed from the financial realities of business that I believe that they are actually shocked when there jobs become at risk as a result of financial conditions.
I have also noted that there little emphasis on the need to do the necessary hard work and sometimes ‘dirty’ projects that are the ones that support the business. Its sexy to sell the big the diamond, make the big commody trade, do the large court case or the picture window corporate project, but it is the small diamonds sold to lots of stores, the single contract trades, the quiet corporate customer service and the traffic cases that support the the businesses.
Maybe its always been like this, however, since there seems to be more highly educated people in important positions, one would not think that it would still be this way. One would think that a more enlightened educated generation is better prepared for the challenges. Experience still seems to be the best teacher. I’m frustrated.
Regarding the “Gen Y doesn’t like the phone” thing – I actually think this can be not just a generational culture but a business culture. My current organization is email obsessed, regardless of generational cohort.
There are far too many times where something could be easily and quickly resolved via phone, but I end up spending tremendous amounts of time going back and forth on complicated group email chains. You call someone, and they don’t answer. But you send an email immediately thereafter, and get a response almost instantly.
Online and digital networking and communication are great tools, as is the telephone. I think people of all generations just need to realize what the pros and cons of each tool are and learn when its most appropriate to use one over the other.
Great post, Jason!
As Covey said – and it is true… Seek first to understand before seeking to be understood.