Hotties: 11 Steps To Make Coworkers Take You Seriously

Recently, I asked my wife: how do attractive women react to the stares, glances, gawks, come-ons, remarks, nicknames, and other attention—desired or not—they receive at work? She said she had no idea. I think she was being modest. So after taking an informal poll of friends and clients, here’s my very unscientific answer to the question, “As a hottie, how can I get others to take me seriously at work?”

1. Know the givens, which are: (1) Men are very simple creatures. (2) Men have a biological urge to imagine attractive women naked. (3) This biological urge is far stronger than any urge men have to “collaborate professionally on a project.”
2. It takes rigorous training to develop the discipline to overcome natural urges. It would be great if there were something as demanding as military training to help businesspeople learn to engage professional in a coed world, but there isn’t. Which means, don’t be surprised when someone acts inappropriately toward you. Mistakes are inevitable.
3. Do great work every day.
4. Don’t shut everyone out because some guys are annoying. Letting people get to know you humanizes you in their eyes… ie, makes you less of an object and more of a whole person. Which I think is what you want, right?
5. Speak last. Men will see your pretty face and not expect much intellectually. If you speak first or second, they’ll think, “How cute, she’s trying to hold her own with the men folk” and blow you off. Speak last and blow them away.
6. When confronted with inappropriate behavior, remember that you’re in a position of power (you have what he wants, even if it’s just “friendship”). Don’t give up your control by reacting emotionally.
7. Some individuals use terms of endearment to establish superiority over others. This isn’t a discrimination thing, it’s a control thing. “Little lady” and “sweetheart” are just two examples… others include “son,” “sport,” and “big guy.” It’s not harmless, but often it is easy to work around.
8. When faced with a “learning opportunity,” take it, and be direct. “You crossed a line with that comment” works fine. In certain circumstances, so does “Now would be good time for you to f#¢& off.” If you want, you can practice being direct by commenting on the title of this post.
9. Prepare to have two conversations with a guy before the message sinks in. If there is a third lapse, you have a problem, call in the big guns.
10. Don’t treat every slight like a capital offense. Many men already work hard to make you feel valued for something beyond your beauty, and overreacting tells them their efforts are for naught. Some men will just enjoy pushing your buttons. Either way, immediately overreacting will cause you to create the world of discrimination you least want.
11. Seek forward progress, not closure. Wondering why that guy you thought was great suddenly turned into a jerk? You will never know, move on.

Remember you’re dealing with very simple creatures and you’ll do fine.

Tagged as: office politics, office romance, social skills