A Carefully.
Everybody needs a little help sometimes… But what happens when the person you need help from also needs you to stand on your own two feet and prove yourself? You can’t just waltz in and ask the same person who needs you to be self-sufficient for help, can you?
As a matter of fact… no, you can’t.
A couple of years ago, I spoke at a number of Kellogg orientations. (We’re talking business school, not cereal company.) Each time, I’d ask the following question:
“Let’s say you get an assignment with unclear direction. Who here thinks it’d be a good idea to ask your boss for clarity?”
Nearly every hand would go up.
Then I’d make the color drain from nearly every face by painting this scenario:
“Fast forward seven years. You’ve gotten your MBA, mastered your job, and have long since been promoted. Now you’re the one hiring MBAs. And you think to yourself, ‘Thank goodness I have the opportunity to hire the best and the brightest, because I’m drinking from a fire hose here, and it’s nice to be able to paint the broad parameters of a project and know that my team is sharp enough to fill in the blanks on their own!’”
(Don’t you just love the deliciousness of this set up?)
“So now here comes your newly hired MBA grad, and instead of using his or her prodigious intellect to figure things out, s/he wants to ask you a few questions… get some clarity. After about five minutes, you know what you’re thinking? You’re thinking, ‘What the heck did they teach you in school?! Where’s your initiative?! Your creative thinking ability?! Why did I spend so much money hiring you if you’re not going to think?!’”
Ouch.
So it turns out, the way in which you ask for help matters a great deal. Here are three tips:
- Provide concrete choices. It’s not, “What should I do,” it’s, “Of these two options, is there any good reason I shouldn’t choose A over B?”
- Always ask for the ball. It’s not, “I’ll do the project if you promise I’ll have the resources.” It’s, “Of course I want the project. I’ll get you a list of resources I’ll need to get it done quickly and correctly.”
- Explain the solution, not the problem. It’s not, “It happened like this because I Dave never got me the file and Jen was late with the numbers, but I’ll get to it now.” It’s, “The project has been reassigned to Marcy and Jeff and will be done by Tuesday. Moving forward, I’ve changed our project management protocol to give us earlier insight into any activities that could put our deadline at risk.” Maybe your boss will ask what happened, maybe not.
Followers ask for help. Leaders take ownership.
You: lead.
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I'm Jason. I make people shine. My mission is to help 1 million people tell their stories better. 
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