How to Self-Destruct: Ski off a cliff

This one sounds so obvious, but in reality, it’s far easier to do than one might realize. Just ask a particular person I happen to be skiing with this week. We’ll call the person… “Mickey”.

Mickey was heading down a catwalk, which was pretty empty at the time. Mickey, a great skier (no problem on blacks, in bumps, or in glades), had been down this particular catwalk maybe 80-90 times in his life. That’s a lot of trips down a run–suffice it to say, Mickey was very comfortable with his surroundings, in his element, and well within his limits. Mickey put himself on cruise control and started picking up a decent head of steam. Mickey was enjoying the scenery. Looking at the trees. Totally zoning out.

Totally.

What brought Mickey back to reality-land was the sudden feeling of being airborne. That’s right: airborne. Now, how does one get airborne on a catwalk? Well, if you’re me, you do it by hitting a kicker in flat light and shooting yourself straight up before landing flat on your chest and bruising your ribs. But Mickey’s not me. Mickey did it by missing a 90-degree turn in the trail and sailing straight off the edge of the run.

Swish.

Mickey is lucky to be alive. Fortunately, he sailed into a space between the trees, and managed to come to a complete stop before hitting any. Now anyone who has taken a nasty spill skiing knows what went through Mickey’s mind once he found himself floating above the ground: “Holy marmalade, how did I…! Not the trees! Oof! Ug! Uh-oh, I don’t think my body can go that way… uuy-yah! Stop, stop, please stop sliding! Stopped! Alive… for the moment. (Breath.) OK… what’s broken? What hurts? What can I move?” Mickey then did a full body inventory, starting with his toes and working his way up to his face. Luckily, the only pain Mickey had was due to where his ski popped off and hit him in his left cheek. He then inventoried his stuff: poles, check! Gloves, check! Sunglasses, check! Mickey grabbed his ski and used it to climb back up to the run, now 20 feet overhead. Ski patrol will find his other ski when the snow melts.

Finally, Mickey inventoried the intangibles: Life, check! Limb, check! Great story, check! Pride…? After skiing straight off the edge of a catwalk? Maybe ski patrol will find that, too.

I do NOT recommend this self-destruction tactic to anyone but the most serious imploders: Mickey got off easy. Usually, this approach results in severe bodily injury or, unfortunately, death. Mickey, I’m glad to still have you around. Of all the people who have read my book, I would have thought that YOU would have recognized the irony in the approach.

Now please knock it off.

Jason Seiden is Co-founder and CEO of Ajax Social Media, a training company that shows professionals how use social media to work more effectively.