It’s old wisdom: surround yourself with people better than yourself. But how? How do you know that the people you’re putting around you are actually better, and not just richer/smarter/better looking?
Let’s begin by acknowledging that I actually know how to do this. Here’s proof:
Joni Doolin, Jason Seiden, Amanda Hite, & Scott Stratten (Unmarketing)
Those three other people in the photo? ALL BETTER THAN ME. That there on the left is Joni Doolin, head of People Report and the brains behind Summer Camp. She threw an incredible conference that is the template of the conference I’d like to throw if I were half as good as she is at throwing them. To the right of me in the photo is Amanda Hite, head of Talent Revolution. Amanda is a leader, true change agent, spotter of great talent, uniter of teams, and doer of great things. She does more for her communities every month that I usually do in a year. Any thought I have, Amanda seems to have had it faster. And you can physically sense the universe’s energy radiating out from her when you sit with her. Finally, the guy in the hat is Scott Stratten, the UnMarketing guy. Sometimes I like to think I’m a good speaker. Then I see Scott and get reminded what good really is all about.
Now that you know I can do this, here’s my methodology so you can do this, too:
- Let go of judgment. The first step in recognizing talent is recognizing talent! You can only do this if you are able to put aside your own issues and prejudices and see others for who they are. ie, if you’re starving, any chef is a 4 star chef. You’ve got to be able to compensate for your own “schtick” when assessing others.
- Let go of ignorance. Sifting through the self-promoters to get to what’s real requires that you have some education about the world around you.
- Let go of jealousy. If you’re jealous of what they’ve got, you’ll feel it, they’ll feel it, and badness will be inevitable.
- Let go of need. Needing others is only fractionally better than being jealous of them. Needing people leads you to make demands. Which amps up the awkward and ends painfully.
- Let go of labels. Strong people don’t need anyone to define a relationship with labels because they’re able to figure it out on their own. Trying to label a relationship can scare a strong person off. (Not comfortable with ambiguity? Keep that to yourself.)
- Let go of doubt. Great people want people around them who are even better then themselves. If you don’t believe you belong, you don’t belong.
- Let go of control. Great people will do things you don’t understand and can’t explain. Insisting on living in a world you fully understand will keep you from experiencing people who can open you up to new and bigger ideas. Great people approach their worlds with innocence, wonder, and curiosity.
- Let go of you. Help the people around you shine brighter. The strong ones’ll keep you around and start feeding your gift back to you. (The weak ones will show their true colors by trying to take advantage or assuming malintent on your part—easy to deal with once you’re prepared for it.)
- Let go of work/life distinctions. When the relationship comes first, it’s sometimes difficult to know if it’s going to grow into friendship, business, or both. Especially with great people who jump from idea to idea with ease, and make no distinction between a project that makes money and one done for fun. Be profersonal.
- Let go of self-esteem. The thing about surrounding yourself with awesome is, you are always being challenged. It’s with love and support, but they’re challenges nonetheless, and you must win, without help, without cheating, without rationalizing. And when you don’t win, you must bounce back quickly and confidently because you don’t want to fail twice in a row.
- Let go of ego. You love that local band? Accept that you’re just one small part of their success, and help them get big anyway. Make it your goal to enjoy next year’s conversation with that girl who claims she “discovered” the band on the radio “last month.”
- Let go of negative. Awesome people fix things or laugh about them. They see no third option.
- Let go of safe. Surrounding yourself with extraordinary people guarantees one thing: change. Scary, risky, life-altering change. No-more-comfort-zone change. For instance, if I were the worlds’ best matchmaker and we were hanging out, I could find you your true love. When I did, would you be ready? Great people requires us to abandon the safe harbor of our routines.
Did you get it yet? Greatness happens when you let go. It’s the ultimate “stone soup;” you bring only your true self and all the other ingredients you think you need actually are provided by others when the time comes. It takes an incredible amount of self-confidence and faith to play this game—but I never did say it was easy.
That’s my recipe. I hope you can make it work for you!
Jason Seiden is CEO of Ajax Workforce Marketing. Ajax amplifies brands by aligning employees' online messaging.
I'm Jason. I run a brand agency with a specialization in workforce marketing.
{ 10 trackbacks }
{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }
Great post Jason! I have included it in my Rainmaker ‘Fab Five’ blog picks of the week (http://www.maximizepossibility.com/employee_retention/2011/06/the-rainmaker-fab-five-blog-picks-of-the-week-3.html) so my readers can learn to let go of their egos and surround themselves with smarter and more talented individuals.
Be well!
Jason, I just found your blog and this post is great. When my husband and I had a consulting firm back in the 90s, our motto was always to hire better, smarter people than ourselves. And looking back we did just that, yet often didn’t let go of a few of the items you listed above which held people back from their true potential.
I would add to your list of letting go: Letting go of poor questions. One of the things I find is that leaders don’t ask enough questions and when they do ask them, they aren’t phrased in a way that brings out great information leading to innovation.
Fantastic post… I have no doubt that “Greatness happens when you let go” and I’m really appreciating the specifics around ‘letting go’ that you’ve shared here. Because sometimes, when I’m clinging too tightly to something, I don’t recognize the need to let go until my grip has been loosened a bit.
Thanks for that!
Thanks, Jason!
I really like the way you think and the way you always challenge and inspire us to raise the bar as leaders.
Susan
@Chris—thanks, I love it when I make the Fab Five!
@Beth—GREAT point. Framing is everything, This is particularly true for inquisitive leaders who need unbiased information from their team.
@Mary—I have that problem, too. I looked it up and discovered it’s quite common. It even has a name: being human.
We’re all in this together…
@Susan—What can I say? I hang out with great people who challenge and inspire me.
This is so good. Learning to “let go” so you can lead! I constantly tell my students that a leader doesn’t have to be the smartest or most creative person at the table. But he or she needs to go out and get the smartest or most creative person to the table.
Some of the best leaders I’ve worked for did a great job of learning to let go of being #1 and made me feel like that was my number.
Jason this is the truth! I get it, and I attribute my ongoing learning and success to the fact that I have been living it. I love how you put this together. Let go and surround yourself with greatness!!! I will share this with everyone I know and post it everywhere. Thanx for writing it. Terina
Couldn’t agree more. Terrific post.
Jason – Your article has perfect timing. Great article…but I didn’t understand your point about “Let go of need.” If I didn’t need them I wouldn’t hire them. Can you expound?
Enjoy the day!
@Tim—As a leader, letting go of “taking credit” (aka giving credit to the team for being awesome) works wonders. That’s more than fluffy management mumbo-jumbo, as it seems you already know. The cold hard reality is that everyone on the team already secretly believes s/he is smarter that the boss anyway. So giving them credit makes them feel smart twice over: first for whatever they did that was smart, and second, by recognizing that they read the relationship correctly.
@Terina—So glad you got so much from the post, that’s why I write! Stick around, I’ve got over 900 other articles, including a performance review I did on my (at the time) kindergarten-aged daughter and a manifesto on living your story. Let me know if I can recommend something…
@Bob—Thank you. And the good news is, my “day” started a week ago yesterday, so there’s been lots to enjoy.
@Bob Hatcher—Think “need” as in “dependence.” As in emotional dependence as opposed to resource dependence. It’s one thing to need your banker because you need a line of credit to manage cash flow; it’s quite another to be unable to make a decision without her.
Attracting a great team is very important. HOW YOU KNOW if they are great team members is another thing. My friend and colleague, Dr. Janice Presser has come up with a low cost way to predict IN ADVANCE, how people will work together in teams.
We’ve all hired people who looked great on paper but were a train wreck when they started working. Janice Presser’s Role Based Assessment prevents that and lets you actual BENEFIT from having ACTUAL great team!
Really great post Jason, thanks for writing it. A fantastic reminder that “letting go” and willing to take a risk is really the only way to grow, learn, change and be open to new things, people and ideas. I’ve written about risk a few times, thought you might find this interesting:
“Engagement, openness and communication have become the new vocabulary in how we deal with our customers, our vendors, our employees, our business relationships, our colleagues – and this involves a change in how we’ve traditionally thought about ourselves. It requires honesty, and transparency and authenticity – and not everyone is willing to take that risk of being real and exposing our vulnerabilities.
But the greater risk here is of doing nothing at all. If we’re not willing to take on the risk of failure, there will be no change – and without change, we will stand still in a world of opportunity that’s passing us by.”
Taking a risk IS letting go – thanks again.
Jason,
reading your blog was almost a spiritual experience. Such deep insight. Great job!
I have done a lot of coaching, team development, and mentoring in HR field and also career coaching and these “rules” apply in both directions: when you are hiring or when you are looking for a job. Actually they apply in any relationship. Letting go of own ego, negativity, safety, control. doubt and so forth is a task of a lifetime and requires constant awareness on how small we are and how big the world is.
Thank you again. Keep it up!
Greg—My wife is in that line of work, and I spent 10 years assessing and developing executive talent, too. People are often surprised to learn that the science behind predicting executive performance is 50+ years old—that it’s been execution, not knowledge, that’s been holding us back. I wrote about the mistakes that fill this execution gap a few years ago: How to Hire Lousy People.
Thanks for dropping by the blog and commenting!
@Roohi—You nail it. Unfortunately, I think too few people prepare for what transparency is going to be like, so when they try it, they feel naked, exposed, and vulnerable… and then they recoil. We need to solve that problem if we’re going to bring people along into this new world…
Now, as far as doing nothing is concerned, that doesn’t seem risky to me. More like a guaranteed fail…
Lena—I’ve met a few people for whom “letting go” definitely will be a lifelong endeavor. I’ve also met some folks who may need a little longer. And some days, I’m pretty sure I’m one of them.
Talk with you soon!
Jason, awesome post. Totally blown away by how relevant this is for me right now, and it’s fascinating how well this applies to all kinds of relationships. Really great stuff, thanks so much.
@Alex—I appreciate your comment! Thank you.
Jason -Thanks for the post. Good read and advise. Now, I want YOU to let go…of that T-shirt your wearing in the pic ( Old.) How do i score one for myself?
@Steve—CafePress.com, my friend!
Isn’t this post totally in contrast with the mainstream idea that managers should be bossy, pushy, over demanding and aggressive with the staff?
@Marino—Yes, it is. Good catch.
Great insight, and advice. This makes a lot of sense. Combined with a commitment of not only surrounding yourself with better people, but grow them as well from current staff…..and who knows. Growing great people, attracks great people.
Mandy Ann—Growing a team, huh? I think you just gave me my next blog post. Thanks!
Thanks for this wonderful thoughts of you.
For me a good and sound mind can make u better that others.
keep on posting.
Hi Jason
Needless to say and yet I will…very inspiring post! Quite like it…and something that I am currently facing in PROFERSONAL life
So tell me once I decide to let go…how do I manage the transition? That time space between having held or needed something strong and then realised this isnt working for me and decided to let go….This creates an illusionary void which the mind perceives as – have done the right thing? what if nothing else works…the doubt basically….
The intent is there….the risk of letting go has been taken….but how do i “hang in there”?? Or should do something and not just “hang in”?
Did i make sense??
What a great post! I will remember each of these points – and definitely need to emphasize some over others. I look forward to delving into the rest of your site Jason. (I want to tweet this or email it but there’s not easy way to do it!)
Jason,
Wow I thought I commented on this post and it must have been twitter. Thanks so much for the complimentary and generous words but I’m not better than you and that’s a fact. Truth is we’re both awesome and we share some great values and have some unique talents that make us so damn cool. I look up to you alot, always have and always will. I’m lucky to know you.
Fantastic blog post by the way.
@Shilpa—Thank you, and yes, your question makes perfect sense. I’m working on blog post for you about it right now.
@Tina—Enjoy the site! Definitely let me know if you find something that strikes you. As for tweeting, I normally use either Hootsuite (http://hootsuite.com) or bit.ly (http://bit.ly) to forward links, but even the twitter.com interface will automatically shrink links: just copy and paste the page URL (http://jasonseiden.com/how-to-surround-yourself-with-people-better-than-yourself/) into the text box on Twitter, add a message (you’ll have about 120 characters left), and hit it! THANK YOU!
@Amanda—Any time, nice try, and the only reason anyone should look up to me is because I’m reasonably tall. Other than that, your comments are right on the money! Thanks for swinging by the blog. Glad you enjoyed it.
Hi Jason,
I love how you sum things up so well!
Thank you for pointing out the merits of ‘letting go’. It can be notoriously hard, but if you really want to get ahead as a leader, it is very very essential.
No leader is good at everything. And that is something that all good leaders accept and come to terms with. I think that your points of letting go of ‘control’ and letting go of ‘you’ are very very important. And I think that these are the two areas that most bosses find most difficult to let go of because they feel like this will reflect a lack of authority and confidence. So how does one find a balance between maintaining authority and letting go?
- Sindoora (http://www.beyondhorizons.in)
Sindoora, control is nOt necessary to maintain authority over others. That’s a myth.
Apple has no authority over me yet I buy their products loyally. Why?
Maybe it’s time to rethink our notion of managerial control, and replace it with something more akin to influence…