This is Bulls**t: Your Stress Level

You’re not going to want to hear this, but you’re stressed out because you’re approaching some element of your life backward.

I don’t know which element, or what specifically you’re doing, but I do understand the role stress plays in our lives, and what it’s existence means.

It means you’ve your head up your ass.

People generally have this problem that causes us to jam our craniums up our rectums. It’s called “craving certainty in an ambiguous world.”

We crave certainty so much, we forget that sometimes, there is no certainty to be had. Then we begin to create the illusion of certainty to fill in those spaces where it doesn’t actually exist, so that when we step back we see a life of certainty. And then we forget that some of those rules we’ve set up for our lives are totally arbitrary. Sooner or later, bang!, something doesn’t act according to the plan and we freak out.

Let’s make this concept real:

• You forget that all career paths are fictions—best guesses based on projected growth patterns for your company—and when you’re up for that promotion, you no longer want it, but you need it in order to hold on to your vision for your life. (A course in basic economics would help you here.)
• You forget that Xmas bonuses are bonuses—e.g., rewards for going above and beyond—and when you start that new job in November, you ask your boss (without a hint of irony) what you can expect in terms of a bonus check. (A dose of self-awareness would help you here.)
• You forget that your religion is a best guess about what happens in the margins of life, made up of many independent idea—some better than others—and reject good science when an outcome conflicts with your faith. (An open mind would help you here.)

My recommendation for how to fix yourself is going to seem odd, but it works:

Plant a seed and make it grow. Literally. With soil, water, and sunlight.

The magic of gardening is that no matter how much structure you employ, you still have to wait, work, and have faith about the outcome.

If you landed on earth yesterday, and I told you the way to get apples was to take a little seed—smaller than your fingernail—plant it in the dirt, water it for a year, then you wouldn’t get apples but a 10 foot tall tree, which, if you continued to care for, would provide you hundreds of apples every single year thereafter, what would you think?

You’d think I was messing with you, that’s what you’d think.

The process doesn’t make sense. It’s ambiguous, slow, and characterized by long stretches where you get no feedback.

But since you weren’t born yesterday, you accept the story about the seeds.

Usually.

You’re stressed because in some area of life, you’re rejecting the natural process of things. You want the end first, without planting, working, waiting, etc.

Whatever story you’ve been sold, it’s bullshit. Get back in touch with how life works.

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Tagged as: handling ambiguity, perspective