In the age old debate between enjoying the present versus future planning; between living for yourself versus living for others; between responsibility and hedonism, something gets lost. It’s a little piece that we keep forgetting, encapsulated in a swap of one small preposition for another, and yet the impact of the oversight is so astounding it’s almost unimaginable that we can allow ourselves to lose sight of it.
The oversight is forgetting that living in the moment is not the same as living for the moment.
Living for the moment is hedonism. It’s existentialism. At the extreme, it’s nihilism. It’s a grab-it-now-while-you-can-because-what-you-see-is-what-you-get mentality that drives short-term, selfish thinking. And though I don’t subscribe to this form of thinking, I can’t say that it’s wrong. The only evidence I can point to countering it is the “wisdom of crowds,” the crowd in this case being all of mankind, which has, over the years, invented a host of religions, philosophies, and moral codes to govern collective behavior in such as way as to limit (if not ban) hedonistic pursuits.
Granted, this is the same mankind that has repeatedly gone to war over said religions, philosophies, and moral codes, apparently unaware (or emotionally immune) to the tragic irony of such behavior. But still, if we are to put any weight at all behind the intrinsic wisdom of the collective, then we would have to give credence to the idea that hedonism is somehow “wrong.” Living in the moment is what animals do: they don’t think ahead, plan, or seek to control their environment. They simply do their thing, reacting to the world around them moment to moment.
Living in the moment, on the other hand, suggests how one should approach each moment in time without prescribing the behaviors in which one should engage. If you live in the moment, it doesn’t matter if your planning for tomorrow or reaping the rewards of yesterday’s work, being nice or mean, acting caring or cruel, or thinking or doing. Living in the moment suggests only that, whatever you do, you do to your fullest.
Doing something nice? Put a bow on the gift. Building a business? Make it work. Studying? Go for the A. That’s all on one side of the equation. Living in the moment also has a dark side, though: Picking a fight? Hit hard. Annoying your little brother? Pull that wedgie all the way up. Whatever emotion you choose to engage in, fully engage. Experience it to the fullest; don’t hedge.
Given the “dark side” of human nature, and the fact that “living in the moment” applies as readily to that side of our existence as to our good side, it’s easy to see how the subtlety between living in the moment and living for the moment has gotten lost. We need to get it back though… Living for the moment locks us into a fatalistic mindset that ultimately makes getting out of bed in the morning a pointless ritual. Living for the moment also allows us to sleep late (so long as we fully appreciate our laziness), but it also provides for so much more.
One only need look around at what mankind has achieved to see the fruits of a “live for the moment” outlook on life.
Jason Seiden is Co-founder and CEO of Ajax Social Media, a training company that shows professionals how use social media to work more effectively.
I'm the CEO of Ajax Social Media. We're helping 1 million people shine by making their online stories better. 