Comments on: Q: How do I work with people who don’t like me? http://jasonseiden.com/q-how-do-i-work-with-people-who-dont-like-me/ My Blog is Profersonal™. Mon, 21 May 2012 18:04:01 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.4 By: TheJillianSays http://jasonseiden.com/q-how-do-i-work-with-people-who-dont-like-me/comment-page-1/#comment-8215 TheJillianSays Thu, 22 Jul 2010 03:39:02 +0000 http://jasonseiden.com/q-how-do-i-work-with-people-who-dont-like-me/#comment-8215 Jason, I actually crashed and burned in this exact situation last year -- minus the subs. Though I tried everything I could think of at the time (including the what-did-i-do-what-can-i-do talks), I really wish I had discovered your blog before it came to a head. Jason, I actually crashed and burned in this exact situation last year — minus the subs. Though I tried everything I could think of at the time (including the what-did-i-do-what-can-i-do talks), I really wish I had discovered your blog before it came to a head.

]]> By: Thomas Huynh http://jasonseiden.com/q-how-do-i-work-with-people-who-dont-like-me/comment-page-1/#comment-8214 Thomas Huynh Thu, 22 Jul 2010 03:34:58 +0000 http://jasonseiden.com/q-how-do-i-work-with-people-who-dont-like-me/#comment-8214 Be patient. Trust takes time and consistency. Also do you like your boss as a person? If not, then it'll show in your face and your work. But if you like her, then you need to show it. If it's true, compliment her when talking to people and somehow it'll get back to her. Hard to hate someone who likes you. Thomas Be patient. Trust takes time and consistency. Also do you like your boss as a person? If not, then it’ll show in your face and your work. But if you like her, then you need to show it. If it’s true, compliment her when talking to people and somehow it’ll get back to her. Hard to hate someone who likes you.

Thomas

]]> By: Tweets that mention Q: How do I work with people who don’t like me? — Jason Seiden -- Topsy.com http://jasonseiden.com/q-how-do-i-work-with-people-who-dont-like-me/comment-page-1/#comment-8213 Tweets that mention Q: How do I work with people who don’t like me? — Jason Seiden -- Topsy.com Thu, 22 Jul 2010 03:29:47 +0000 http://jasonseiden.com/q-how-do-i-work-with-people-who-dont-like-me/#comment-8213 [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jason Seiden, TJ McCue. TJ McCue said: RT @Seiden: Great question on my blog today—can we crowdsource an answer for Chris on how to win back over the boss? http://bit.ly/dyuU8d [...] [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jason Seiden, TJ McCue. TJ McCue said: RT @Seiden: Great question on my blog today—can we crowdsource an answer for Chris on how to win back over the boss? http://bit.ly/dyuU8d [...]

]]> By: Jason http://jasonseiden.com/q-how-do-i-work-with-people-who-dont-like-me/comment-page-1/#comment-8212 Jason Thu, 22 Jul 2010 03:22:16 +0000 http://jasonseiden.com/q-how-do-i-work-with-people-who-dont-like-me/#comment-8212 Chris—Tough spot, great question. First, <a href="http://changingminds.org/explanations/theories/leader_member_exchange.htm" rel="nofollow">read this article on Leader-Member Exchange Theory</a>, the upshot of which is: your situation is not unique. Second, don't throw in the towel. Avoid words like "never" or "perfect." Obviously, what you think is perfect she does not think is perfect. That's like a painter complaining, "No matter how bright I make this red paint, that blind person won't see it!" Duh. Stop projecting. I'm not saying that there definitely is a way out, but as long as you hold that defeated perspective, I'm saying that there definitely isn't. Third, the effectiveness of a request for help is all in how it's made. Something about your approach is turning people off... so you need to brainstorm alternatives. E.g., instead of asking, "What could I be doing better?" ask, "Hey, is there anything I'm doing <em>right</em>?" or, "In your perfect world, I come into your office and say _________ what?" Or, "Somehow, I became a burden to this team, and I missed when it happened. It's embarrassing." (With this one, pause and see what comes back. If it's harsh, you may have a real issue. If it's soft, you have an opportunity. If it's in the middle, keep pressing forward.) Good luck! Chris—Tough spot, great question. First, read this article on Leader-Member Exchange Theory, the upshot of which is: your situation is not unique.

Second, don’t throw in the towel. Avoid words like “never” or “perfect.” Obviously, what you think is perfect she does not think is perfect. That’s like a painter complaining, “No matter how bright I make this red paint, that blind person won’t see it!” Duh. Stop projecting. I’m not saying that there definitely is a way out, but as long as you hold that defeated perspective, I’m saying that there definitely isn’t.

Third, the effectiveness of a request for help is all in how it’s made. Something about your approach is turning people off… so you need to brainstorm alternatives. E.g., instead of asking, “What could I be doing better?” ask, “Hey, is there anything I’m doing right?” or, “In your perfect world, I come into your office and say _________ what?” Or, “Somehow, I became a burden to this team, and I missed when it happened. It’s embarrassing.” (With this one, pause and see what comes back. If it’s harsh, you may have a real issue. If it’s soft, you have an opportunity. If it’s in the middle, keep pressing forward.)

Good luck!

]]> By: chris http://jasonseiden.com/q-how-do-i-work-with-people-who-dont-like-me/comment-page-1/#comment-8211 chris Thu, 22 Jul 2010 02:59:48 +0000 http://jasonseiden.com/q-how-do-i-work-with-people-who-dont-like-me/#comment-8211 My Boss used to like me but over the past 6 months has stopped speaking to me altogether except to correct and scold me in front of other people at work. Even though she has time to visit for hours at a time with another co-worker and then have lunch with them, She will not give me the time of day. I have e-mailed her and asked for suggestions on how to improve. she tells me that my performance is not lacking but that I should ask for help...from the very people who are NOT speaking to me. In the past when I have asked for help, these people try to "show me up" and always make sure that everyone in the Department knows that THEY had to once again "Rescue" me. Other than just quit, what else should I do to improve this situation?? Sadly enough I really like the people I supervise. They also like me. But as long as this person is my boss it will never matter how perfect I am or how good I make her look. She will never again like me or anything else about me. My Boss used to like me but over the past 6 months has stopped speaking to me altogether except to correct and scold me in front of other people at work. Even though she has time to visit for hours at a time with another co-worker and then have lunch with them, She will not give me the time of day. I have e-mailed her and asked for suggestions on how to improve. she tells me that my performance is not lacking but that I should ask for help…from the very people who are NOT speaking to me. In the past when I have asked for help, these people try to “show me up” and always make sure that everyone in the Department knows that THEY had to once again “Rescue” me. Other than just quit, what else should I do to improve this situation?? Sadly enough I really like the people I supervise. They also like me. But as long as this person is my boss it will never matter how perfect I am or how good I make her look. She will never again like me or anything else about me.

]]> By: HRM Today - Blog Archive » Q: How do I work with people who don’t like me? http://jasonseiden.com/q-how-do-i-work-with-people-who-dont-like-me/comment-page-1/#comment-553 HRM Today - Blog Archive » Q: How do I work with people who don’t like me? Mon, 17 Nov 2008 17:09:12 +0000 http://jasonseiden.com/q-how-do-i-work-with-people-who-dont-like-me/#comment-553 [...] Source [...] [...] Source [...]

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