A: You’ve been rejected… now what?
Do you persevere and ignore it? Or do you stop and digest the lesson hidden in the rejection? Can you do both… can you learn from the rejection but still ignore it?
Of course you can do both. Silly question.
But of the two, one side is more important, and it’s not—repeat not—learning. The single most important thing you must do after being rejected is keep moving forward. If you want to be successful, quitting is not an option. Learning from your mistakes after taking yourself out of the game will just get you to start spewing stuff like “I knew that,” “I could’ve done that,” and “No, I’m not bitter… why do you ask?”
As Woody Allen once said, “90% of life is showing up.”
So stay in the game. Whether you should accept the feedback or ignore it, we’ll figure that out later. Right now, you’re number one priority is to wake up tomorrow, take a shower, and get yourself back to work.
No matter how painful it is, get back in the saddle. That’s the part that takes guts. When you can get yourself back to work after sustaining a crushing blow to the ego, believe me, everything after that is a cakewalk.
Posted under Q&A, Coaching & Consulting, Self-Development
Written by Jason Seiden on October 2, 2008
Jason, that is some pretty slim advice.
Are you deliberately avoiding offering sales advice?
I’m picturing a baseball player trying to catch line-drives with his crotch and the coach telling him, “Walk it off and get back in the game”; rather than, at minimum, “Dude, use your glove”.
Jim,
I love analogies, use ‘em all the time… yours is a cake-topper.
Secretly, I’m with you. There’s a part of me that wonders why something like this even needs to be said. Then, there’s the other part of me, who works with the managers of sales people and hears their laments. And plus, there’s the *other* other part of me, who lives this as a management consultant and who has been rejected more than once (or twice).
And those other parts of me? They keep reminding me that for many people—and occasionally, even for the rock stars—it’s all about remembering the fundamentals.
OK, here’s another metaphoric example:
When your wife yells at you for not taking out the garbage, it’s not about not taking out the garbage.
The questioner needs not only to move through the rejection, but to better understand why s/he’s being rejected.
I won’t post the names of some sales advice sites without your OK, but perhaps some sales fundamentals would help this person out.
We are all bound to feel some emotion after being rejected. Here’s the thing, all emotions are made up of energy. We can choose to use that energy to wallow in self pity and feel defeated or we can be productive. The ability to choose to be productive is most certainly a skill in self awareness. It is the ability to analyze (not wallow!) the rejection and utilize that knowledge during the precious time after rejection to throw yourself a personal pep rally and come out fighting even harder. Can your here the Rocky theme in the background? This sounds simple, but I do know, it is really hard! I can’t say I have mastered it but I have been able to stop myself from going into a pity party melt down. I challenge you! Test yourself. In the worst case scenario, turn around your attitude to attack the situation and come up with a different solution instead of letting the situation attack and defeat you.
Thanks, Jason. Always good stuff to get me thinking and reflecting.