A: I get this question, in various forms, a lot. The obvious answer—that you have no friends in a political environment—is wrong. The right answer is: you can’t be sure, but if you know what you’re looking for, you can figure it out. Following are three steps to starting to determine who your friends are in a politically charged, emotional environment
- Learn peoples’ styles so you can separate their styles from the substance of what their saying. For instance, you might work with someone who says, “I’m the only friend you’ve got,” “Trust me,” or “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of that for you.” Is this person your friend? Maybe. Is this person an wolf in sheep’s clothing? Maybe. To figure it out, watch what the person does: How frequently does the person come through on commitments? (No one’s perfectly good or perfectly evil, so look for patterns… does the person consistently help superiors and hang subordinates out to dry, for example, or consistently ignore a particular department?) Does the person use this figure of speech often or only with you? Does the person help you while alienating you from others at the same time? Or does the person always promise to help, but then tell you the time is just not right when you move to take action? (The same holds true for abrasive personality types: sometimes, your best friends are hard to reach because they communicate in an incredibly harsh, off-putting way. You need to see past the veneer in order to judge the true message.)
- When someone does cause you to get hurt, it can be easy to label the person as overly political… but maybe the person had no choice; maybe you were, unfortunately, “collateral damage…” and maybe you just earned yourself a favor. Telling you to listen before jumping to conclusions would be pointless… by the time you’re in this position, you’re emotional and your ability to think rationally is pretty much gone. So, you need to avoid this situation as best as possible by engaging proactively. make friends. Be social. Ask people what is going on in their departments… and then speak up when you see something that could be problematic for you. “That guy” in marketing may not care, but if “that guy” also happens to be your friend Dave who also loves Sanibel Island as much as you do, he might.
- Assume the best in people, not the worst, and let them live up to your expectations. Yes, there are politicians out there, but they are, from what I see, the minority. Generally, politics seem to get created as instructions go through a game of telephone: a manager tells a subordinate he wants such-and-such done, and asks said subordinate to pull in his teammates for help. Said subordinate does as he is told, after which, the subordinate’s teammates begin to whisper: “Who does he think he is! Why should I take direction from him? He’s not my boss!” Voila, politics are born. So relax, the problem is more likely due to your perception of the situation than some overly Machiavellian person around you.
 | Enjoy this blog? Listen to my new podcast, Beyond Social. |
I'm Jason. I make people shine. My mission is to help 1 million people tell their stories better. 