A: If you’re letting someone else hold you back, you’re not doing all you can to be successful.
If you are doing all you can to be a success, you are taking 100% personal responsibility. 100%. Personal. Responsibility. Do you realize what that means? That you are totally, completely responsible? That there is no space to blame anyone else for your station, for any reason, at any time? 100% personal responsibility means that there is only the recognition of the obstacle and the things you–not someone else, not the Man, not the company, not the process, not your fairy godmother, not your mom… nobody except you–need to do to change it.
I was recently asked the above question during a training seminar. I responded with a question of my own: “How well do you know the people in the department that’s holding you back? How much time do you spend getting to know them, and letting them get to know you?” The answer, not surprisingly, was, “Very little.”
I was asked this question by a student in reference to a group member who wasn’t pulling her weight. I responded with a question: “Have you talked with her about the problem?” The answer was, “Not yet.”
I was asked this question by an attorney who was lamenting a workflow process that somehow allowed a brand new, inexperienced paralegal to get assigned to an important, sensitive case. I responded with a question: “When you reassigned the case, did you take any time to look at the process yourself to see what happened, or did you just reassign the case?” The answer was, “No, I just reassinged it… bird-dogging this process is not my job!”
These people all thought they had taken 100% responsibility for their success, but they hadn’t. They were hovering somewhere at the 50% mark. They were waiting for someone else to make the next move.
If you’ve ever called ahead, pre-tipped a server, or pulled a restaurant manager aside to make sure a dinner went perfectly, you know what 100% personal responsibility looks like. Now take that approach and apply it to every interaction.
A few things to keep in mind about the 100% personal responsibility plan:
- Yes, it is a total pain in the butt.
- Yes, it requires even more of your time, which you probably already don’t have enough of.
- Yes, if you had nothing to do with the mess up and have no power, it’s still up to you to solve the problem.
- Yes, your ego will likely be the first casualty.
- No, you can never again commiserate with some coworkers about how much other coworkers suck.
- Yes, this approach is so all consuming, so demanding, and so stressful that you will only be able to engage if you are totally, completely, and wholly invested in your goal. And you will never be completely invested in your goal unless you are able to connect with it on a deep, emotional level… Understanding the mission statement and reading the Powerpoint deck won’t cut it. You have to believe in what you are doing.
If you don’t have a pit in your stomach just thinking about this, you haven’t yet grasped the totality of the 100% personal responsibility plan. And just so you know, while this approach does not guarantee success, not living this plan does guarantee that a nagging emptiness will follow you everywhere.
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I'm Jason. I make people shine. My mission is to help 1 million people tell their stories better. 
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