A few weeks ago on the HR Happy Hour, the question came up of, “Why can’t we all just get along?”
The question was asked in an HR context, but it has a global context. And, it’s easily answered: we can get along, but only if we stop wishing the world to be as it “should be,” and accept the world as it is.
The bottom line is that no matter what system we create for ourselves to help us be good to one another—whether the system is a set of laws, a form of government, or an organizational structure, human nature will trump the rules of the system.
We are what we are.
Which means that politicians will work to get re-elected rather than do what’s right, employees will game the system rather than do an honest day’s work, leaders will abuse the privileges of power, and the law will forever be playing catch up with those who push its limits.
Now this is your choice: get frustrated by it or accept it. That’s it!
Frustration stems from ignoring human nature, underestimating the amount of courage it takes to do the right thing, or expecting people to magically rise above their frailties. If you fall into the frustration trap, you’ll spend your time tweaking the laws, reorganizing the organization, and trying to put politicians in boxes. You’ll forever be chasing after someone who you think has done a bad thing, and you’ll rarely be happy. Every day will be a test of faith.
On the other hand, if you accept the reality of human nature, you can move forward. You’ll still have to deal with daily, craptastic fails on all sides, but this way, you can also stay open to moments when people do rise above their petty natures. Like my friends David and Jodi, who just launched The Umbrella Experiment, you’ll be open to a world where people are truly, genuinely good to one another. Sometimes. And that’s a start.
So if you really want people to get along, let go of the frustration. People are people: imperfect, scared, and by and large, doing the best they can in an unpredictable world. That sad reality of our human nature is more powerful than any of our rules or morals or codes or “expectations.”
Accept that, and we’ll get along just fine.
Jason Seiden is Co-founder and CEO of Ajax Social Media, a training company that shows professionals how use social media to work more effectively.
I'm the CEO of Ajax Social Media. We're helping 1 million people shine by making their online stories better. 
{ 1 trackback }
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
I hate that I agree with you on this…. where did my optimism go?
@Jen—Optimism is like high fashion: easy to appreciate on others, yet surprisingly difficult to pull off without making yourself look like a goof.
Beautiful post! Thank you.
I say that more than accept it, it is nigh time to honestly study human nature such that we can:
1. come to be comfortable with ourselves
2. create a social matrix based upon truth and not upon convenient and specious reflections of what we pretend the human creature to represent
3. come to legislate rules and regulations based on this veritable nature of man
Only when we come to a point of existence based on honest introspection and deliberation of the human species and the culture that is its bitter acme will be be ready to change the world for the better.
Genruk
@Diane—Thank you. Beautiful comment, too.
@Genruk—The sad truth is, we’ve been studying it in earnest for a century, and many of the glitches in our humanity are actually well known… and predictable. The only one who seem to really be using this information are marketers. Why? Because one of our glitches is our ability to ignore truth in favor of a comfortable fiction.