Let’s be clear: success is always hard work. It requires perseverance and a will strong enough to attract the people and resources you need to manifest your dreams. That said, it shouldn’t be a struggle. Success, when you believe in what you are doing, is fun and enjoyable.
The struggle occurs when one resists his own sense of self; when he tries to force himself down a path he don’t belong–a path that is either too small, too big, or too far from his strengths. There are two main reasons why I see people struggle on the road to success:
- Lack of self-awareness. A lack of self-awareness can preclude a person from understanding how to match his abilities with the opportunities before him. In a sense, every decision becomes a coin toss. Some people lack self-awareness because they’ve never gotten feedback (or have never heard it). Some have superimposed images provided by society at large over their own sense of self. Others lie to themselves about their strengths and shortcomings in order to maintain a particular world view. (Egos can get a little fussy when it comes to admitting difficult truths!)
Do you lack self-awareness?
Test questions to ask yourself: Do your relationships repeatedly suffer from the same negative patterns? (E.g., you are constantly disappointed by others disloyalty? Do you always feel you have an enemy who is out to get you?) Do you generally believe that people who offer you feedback are themselves “fatally flawed” in some way, or that their feedback is always meant to manipulate you? Do you have difficulty maintaining relationships with strong people? Yes answers to these questions could be a sign that you lack sufficient self-awareness to manage yourself and your relationships appropriately. - Subjugation of self. Subjugating one’s sense of self–and instead relying upon others’ opinions to determine her worth, her strengths, and her limits–can set a person up to be taken advantage of. Irrespective of someone’s position in a corporate hierarchy, a person owes it to herself to know who she is and what she is capable of… and to defend that image of herself when challenged by others. Because if she doesn’t (or can’t, or won’t) stand up for herself, who will stand up for her?
Do you subjugate your sense of self?
Important questions to ask yourself: Do you have a boss who has you pigeonholed incorrectly? Do you have peers who make you the butt of their jokes all the time? When others tell you the role you are to play on a project, are you left feeling unsettled and wanting something different? Do you walk out of meetings with a nagging feeling that you should have spoken up? These are all potential clues that you are not projecting a complete image of yourself to others.
Success always requires dedication and hard work. If you are working toward a goal that is aligned with who you are, that work becomes fun and energizing. (You may doubt it, but there are lots of people out there–in any profession you can think of–who wouldn’t trade their jobs for all the world.) In order to be aligned, though, you must ask yourself who you are and you must be honest with yourself about the answer.
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I'm Jason. I make people shine. My mission is to help 1 million people tell their stories better. 