The Two Week Rule

Laurie Ruettimann over at PunkRockHR wanted to know my theory on relationships. OK, Laurie, here it is:

I believe that within 2 weeks of meeting someone (by which I mean before the 15th contact), you know whether or not a person could be your spouse.

Everything you need to know is right there on display, if you allow yourself to see it: the person’s confidence, loyalty, thoughtfulness, empathy… all of it is right there in the open.

I think a break up that occurs within the first two weeks is faultless—chalk it up to a bad match. But a break up that occurs after two weeks is your fault. You lied to yourself and tried forcing a bad fit.

What’s the magic of 15 contacts? It’s a full complement of “first impressions,” including in a variety of one-on-one situations, social situations, and probably one or two disagreements. You’ve had a chance to watch the person interact with others—maybe you’ve overheard them on the phone with friends. So your impressions are fresh, yet varied enough to not have to worry about “impression management;” red flags will show. Plus there are enough impressions to highlight major trends that the person might be trying to hide.

So, that’s my theory. Based on your experiences, what do you think, does it hold?