By now, you probably know that I like situations where there is a risk of spectacular failure. Success is never guaranteed, so if you’re going for it, then you’re also opening yourself up to potentially bombing it big time.
But let’s be totally and completely clear on one point: spectacular failure actually requires a lot of work.
It does not start with you sticking your fingers in your ears, saying, “LA LA LA LA LA… I am not listening to you… This is who I am, take it or leave it…. LA LA LA LA LA.”
It never starts there. But it definitely ends there.
After a lot of listening, changing, trying, and failing.
And here, I’m talking the kind of failure that cause scar tissue. Deep, nasty, bruising, ego-shattering, lose-faith-in-humanity scar tissue.
These failures are tests, not setbacks. They damage they do does not get better on its own after a few hours. Your sweetheart cannot soothe your soul with a cup of hot chocolate. Nothing—not food, not sleep, not sex—helps. These are failures that make jokes about “keeping away from sharp objects” not funny.
Scar tissue.
By the time you are ready to risk “spectacular failure,” it’s almost guaranteed that you cannot achieve it; you’re so battered that if you’re still standing at all, it means there’s nothing left on God’s green earth to stop you… save that one obstacle you have left to conquer.
Allow me to illustrate:
This doofus is not failing spectacularly; he just sucks:
Clowns like this go around making jackasses of themselves, but there’s no real investment. They tune out the world’s feedback because they think they’re misunderstood and everyone else is jealous.
Not so much.
Guys like this aren’t fails, they’re punchlines. For them, the real failure comes in a few years, when they realize they’ve wasted their time and can’t get it back. That’s when the pain sets in.
Meanwhile, this woman did fail spectacularly. She worked her ass off to become the best skater in the world, went head to head with her arch-nemesis at the Olympics, and got blown out of the water. By her nemesis.
I’ll bet it’ll be a long while before Mao Asada looks at her silver Olympic hardware and sees anything other than “first loser.” Which is a shame—she’s unbelievable. But when you go all in on your goals as she did, you take no solace from second place.
But one day, in her mind, she’ll decide to go for it again. She’ll tune out the world, ignore the media scrutiny, and focus totally on her craft. She’ll once again risk spectacular failure… in order to go for gold. And if someone says, “I don’t think you should,” she’ll respond:
“This is who I am, take it or leave it.”
See the difference?
None of us will always be on top. One way or another, we’ll all develop scar tissue.
The question is, will you also have some successes to show for it?
Jason Seiden is Co-founder and CEO of Ajax Social Media, a training company that shows professionals how use social media to work more effectively.
I'm the CEO of Ajax Social Media. We're helping 1 million people shine by making their online stories better. 
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I had an acquaintance tell me that my long string of “undesired results” in my career were not “failures” because each time I dragged myself up off the mat and fought another round. Your “scar tissue” analogy, though, does leave out one bit … if one’s been badly damaged by a particular thing, there’s a good chance that if one comes back to the fight, one has lost all flexibility & range when it comes to that thing, or other situations like it.
I have massive amounts of “scar tissue”, but the successes I have are all tainted by the damage … much like how that skater is likely to view that silver medal … it’s nice that I achieved “X” but it’s sort of like having completed a difficult crossword puzzle just before the plane crashes.
Brendan—Great point… GREAT point.
The trick is to hold on to that innocence… that sense of wonder and excitement… even after you’ve been hurt.
That’s the magic.
Otherwise, you’re right—you go rigid.
Great post. I am a first timer to your blog. What drew me in? Raw, edgy, real… That’s what life is about. And there are times where we face plant big time. And it’s all we can do to drag ourselves up off the floor and give it another go. Any entrepreneur will tell you this.
My first entrepreneurial venture sucked. I blew it. There I said it. It was the wrong industry, the wrong environment, I wasn’t prepared and most importantly, I didn’t love it. But I learned two lessons.
1. I want to work for myself.
2. If you want to be spectacularly good at anything you had better love it and be willing to throw everything into it.
Now I am on my second entrepreneurial business. Is it a raging success? Not yet. Am I completely passionate about what I do? You betcha. Am I in the process of reworking the whole business because it’s not quite there yet? Oh yeah!
Here I am world. “This is who I am take it or leave it.” I’ll let you know how it goes.
@Catherine—I’ve got the popcorn ready… can’t wait to see how your story unfolds… (Since you’re an entrepreneur, it’s sure to be a thriller!) Thanks for posting!