Wouldn’t That Be Great?!
No.
Actually, it would suck.
For instance:
Imagine planning a party.
Nay; a wedding.
The groom-to-be’s mother asks the bride-to-be if she’s picked out the dress yet.
Bound to tell the truth, she answers, “No.”
To which the mom replies, “Great! I have a close friend who’s a famous designer, and she wants to do your dress. Don’t say no, this is a $10,000 gift!”
The bride happens to hate this particular designer and says so.
After all, she must!
The mother-in-law doesn’t care about like or dislike, though; to her, it’s about the label and the fact that she is able to call in a favor from a famous designer.
She tells the truth to the bride-to-be about what an ungrateful nit she’s being.
Grab the popcorn folks, this one is going to get ugly!
(Ah, truth.)
The office is really no different.
True, too many people waste too much time posturing and politicking, often about issues that require neither posturing nor politicking. However, some issues do require a certain amount of finessing.
Take away everything but the raw truth—noble as the idea is—and what you create is an impossible gridlock of hard-and-fast rules that cannot be negotiated.
Sounds like fun another form of hell.
And what about lies by omission?
Are we bound to fill in the gaps with knowledge whenever we can?
Wouldn’t we constantly be butting into each other’s business then with tidbits we’ve overheard—or think we’ve overheard?
For instance, let’s say you knew your division is being spun off in 3 months. What do you say to your star employee who wants to launch a new initiative… today? Oh, by the way, you’re an officer of a public company and you can’t disclose the spin off yet. If you do, and word gets out, BIG PROBLEMS.
Or how about this one: you see coed colleagues sharing a drink after hours on a business trip. She’s drunk. The talk is dirty.
You know the woman’s husband.
Yeah, you have fun with that truth thing. Me? I’m keeping my mouth shut.
Sure, maybe having everyone always and only tell the truth is as the world “should be.”
Or maybe, that utopia exists only in your head, and the reality would look a lot like…
what we have today.
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UCLA prof Samuel Culbert has an interesting way of looking at this in his book “Beyond Bullsh*t; Straight Talk at Work.” Knowing the corporate/legal/political obstacles you mention (and others), he separates the concept into three areas:
Truth talking — specific to the moment
Candor — specific to the issue
Straight talk — specific to the relationship
In the case of the new intitiative, candor is what’s needed: “It may be a great idea, but the timing is not ideal…etc.” You sending a message that is as candid as possible given the restraints as you know them.
In the case of the wedding dress, I suppose the relationship the bride has (or wants to have) with her future mother-in-law will dictate the approach as much as the specific issue/moment.
PR people often face this dilemma with good reporters. They may know of an impending announcement, but can’t confirm it when a reporter who has gotten the scoop calls to verify. Can’t tell the truth. But can’t lie.
Ed, Culbert’s onto something there. Thanks for sharing, and my continued best as you strive to stay in that magical zone called “being responsible with the truth”—not always an easy place to find, let alone reside in!