You go to work. You crank through your work. Everyone else is lollygagging, dragging their feet and doing anything but working.
You’re a model of efficiency.
You’re also annoying.
Hey, that’s a badge of honor, right? When slackers don’t like you, that’s validation that you’re a hard worker, diligent, focused, a true team player!
That’s true, to a point.
See, one day—maybe sooner, maybe later—you’ll need something from someone. You’ll need one of those slow pokes to rush a job for you. Or you’ll be put in charge of a project and you’ll need them to listen to you. Or you’ll have a little mystery on your hands and you’ll need someone else’s help to solve it. Something.
And you know what you’ll have? You’ll have a black-and-white situation on your hands, where the person either says yes or no to your request, and if the answer is no, the only recourse you’ll have is to go tell your boss so she can help you, you poor, misunderstood little worker-bee. You know why that’s what you’ll have to do? Because of what you won’t have: a relationship with the people that allows you to use personal influence or even referent power. All you’ll have, maybe, is formal authority and, uh, I’m not sure how to tell you this, but… uh… those people around you who are procrastinating today? Well, they don’t seem to have too much respect for formal authority, see… so I’m guessing when annoying, workaholic, do-gooder you shows up one day waving your “formal authority card,” they’re going to laugh in your face and ignore you.
Just a guess.
So what’s a person to do?
Mix business with a little pleasure. You don’t work with androids, you work with people. Who are emotional beings and who maybe don’t do as clean a job as you in separating their personal worlds from their business worlds. Part of your job is to “waste a little time” and get to know this folks.
Let me repeat: part of your job is to “waste a little time” and get to know this folks. People work with people they like. So if you think you may ever need them to work with you, make sure you pick your head up every once in a while and ask someone how they’re doing.
Do your work. Do it well. That comes first. But that shouldn’t be the only thing you do. Take a little time to build relationships, too. Do it today, when it feels like you’re “wasting time…” because if you wait for when you need those relationships, you won’t have time to build them, and you won’t have the social capital to leverage them. All you’ll have is an ultimatum, and those… don’t tend to work too well, from what I’ve seen.
Jason Seiden is Co-founder and CEO of Ajax Social Media, a training company that shows professionals how use social media to work more effectively.
I'm the CEO of Ajax Social Media. We're helping 1 million people shine by making their online stories better. 
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Good advice. And, everything in moderation. You don’t need to become one of them, but yes, occaisionally slow down and just chat. Notice when your colleagues are having a bad day and need some support or a friendly face. Be kind and supportive, it goes a long way and you really don’t need to compromise your own results and work ethic – it really doesn’t take much time.
Took me years to learn this one, and I am probably still a long way off of where I should be, but a bit of effort goes a long way.
@HR Good_Witch I learned this one the hard way, too. I found that until you try it—until you decide, “You know, I’m going to show a little compassion today”—you can’t see it. All you see is the unfairness of pulling the weight for others. It takes a leap of faith to accept that you’re isolating yourself and limiting your career options!
Not work related, but a perfect example of why this is right is the way in which my high school dealt with discipline issues.
I went to a small private school, and it was (and still is) very much a family environment. When the administrators got pissed off at the student body as a whole, they’d usually bring out the dean of students or some other disciplinarian to give us a stern talking to about whatever misbehavior was going on. There’d usually be some threats, and we’d all wonder who was gonna get it this time. We’d all sit quietly trying to not look guilty, and forget what they were talking about 5 minutes later.
But when the administration really wanted to get something done, they pulled out the big gun (actually the Big D). Mr. Denes was not a disciplinarian. In fact, I never saw him get mad. Not only was he the nicest guy in the world, but he poured his heart and soul into the school for 35 years. He had been a teacher, but during my time there he was essentially the COO. He ran the school, and he did so in the kindest way possible.
So when there was an issue and Mr. Denes gave us a talking to, we listened. We felt terrible. Even if we had nothing to do with the bad behavior, we seriously felt as though we had let him down. Even the surliest private school brat respected and listened to Mr. Denes.
He got the message across like nobody else could.
You know why? Because Big D had a relationship with every single student at my school. He knew every kid’s name, and probably their schedule, address, and home phone #. Yes, that was part of his job, but he did it in a way that made every student love him.
Whenever my school had a big issue to address, they had Big D make the ask. Because of who he was and how he did things, nobody could ever say no. Letting him down wasn’t an option.
You probably can’t be Mr. Denes, but if you can build a Mr. Denes-like relationship with your manger/subordinate/co-worker, getting people to work with you won’t be a problem. In fact, you can use that hard working reputation to your advantage. You can position yourself as the person that they want to be able to keep up with… kind of like Todd is for you when you’re skiing, Jase.
Terrific post Jason (as usual), and I like the Godfather-esque tone of someday needing a favor from someone. Don Seiden has a nice ring to it.
Life is all about relationships, and it is difficult to succeed without the ability to build those relationships. Few people want to help people they don’t “like”, face time is good, but please people at least pretend to be sincere!
I like this … never underestimate the power of relationships. It explains exactly why what got you here won’t get you there and why valedictorians are not the successful ones in life. And anyways, work is more fun if you can get along with others!
Very interesting post… I used to have a problem with getting pegged at work as having the “all business” attitude and then when we would all be out after work have a few drinks, people would then say that they are surprised that I was so funny (I’m not that funny but a bit)… after hearing this a couple of times, I made it a point to switch my “all business” hat with my “friendly, funny hat” during the work day when I wasn’t under deadline or running around putting out a fire… so your post really speaks to me and I can attest that you should start to realize the time for work vs. the time for socializing as both are important in a work environment.