My Story of You,
Elle Taylor Seiden
My story of you #1
One day while watching “The Little Mermaid,” Elle’s sister asked where the mom was. Elle replied, “It’s Disney, the mom’s dead. Get over it.” She was five. It was brutal and true and spit-takingly hilarious.
My story of you #2
My goal, when my girls were little, was to hear them laugh every single day. I only missed a handful of days over Elle’s first 10 years.
My story of you #7
Going through old photos, I was surprised to at how often I looked sad, even when I knew I’d been at my happiest.
My story of you #9
Many dads dread their daughters growing up. Me, I couldn’t wait. Elle experienced so much life when confined by the limitations of childhood, the idea of her running through life at full speed lit me up
My story of you #40
Sometimes, I wish I could have been more present in that moment; other times, I just thank God for all those small, intrusive thoughts that kept me from grasping the full horror of the situation.
My story of you #107
Was it my fault? Did I make this happen? I’d look at anyone else in my position and tell them, unequivocally, no. It was so obvious! But when it’s you in that position, you don’t let yourself off so easy. You want that burden. I don’t know why. I just know the day I allowed myself to believe my own forgiveness, it felt like the most outrageous thing in the world.
My story of you #11
Elle often had a look in her eye like that gave me the distinct impression that she could see things like love and energy as literal, visible things. She spurred a spiritual journey that unlocked incredible insights.
My story of you #45
When I decided that the best way to honor Elle would be to live a full life, a number of surprising emotions came up, including relief and joy that I no longer needed to carry the stress and fear about what might happen. It happened! It’s over! I can put that worry down… and to feel relief in the middle of grief feels selfish. But is it wrong?
My story of you #12
“She’s in a better place.” “She’s still with you.” “Death ends a life, not a relationship.” Stop it. Until I’m done being a human having a human experience, I will continue to miss Elle and I will continue to wish she were still actually here.
My story of you #88
Long term illness is a series of grief events. After Elle’s death, I found myself having to be intentional about a number of surprising things, including how I wanted to picture her in my mind when I thought of her. As she was when she was sick? Healthy? Young? Picking just one felt somehow limiting, yet picking more than one felt unnecessary.